There are three types of people everyone needs in their lives. These are the people that you should surround yourself with, people that you can call friends.
What does life look like without friends? It has no color. It is a little less warmth, less laughter, and little energy if any. Some activities stop making sense, going out is not so enjoyable anymore. Food tastes a little flat when eating all alone in the restaurant. Oh, the stories in your head, you have no one to tell them to. The thoughts in your head become overwhelming because you have no one to share them with. It is a lonely life; it is nothing to be desired. However, it is a place that many of us have found ourselves at one point.
This is especially the case when we have had major milestones in life that make old friends drift away. It could be a relocation to another country, changing jobs, getting married, having a baby or any other major change in your life. More often than not you will lose some friends along the way, sometimes even all your friends. Your new milestone is probably demanding more of your time or a change in your schedule and you have less time to hang out with friends. You start having less in common with your old friends and with time there is nothing left for you to share, the friendship has run its course. Learn to let go, but be careful not to isolate yourself in the process. You need to find a new circle of friends.
Do not isolate yourself- Isolation leads to loneliness
When I had my baby 2 years ago, I lost connection with almost all my friends. Our lives had taken different trajectories and we had less and less in common. I had a new role as a mother that was challenging and that’s all I wanted to focus on. I needed a new set of friends who were a fit for my current needs but I did not try to make any. The mistake I made was isolating myself and living in my cocoon with everybody else at a distance. Loneliness caught up with me, I had no zeal for life and very little motivation to do anything. I almost fell into depression.
It became really bad and I knew I had to do something to improve my life. I deliberately started connecting with other people. I joined a personal development club, joined mom groups both online and offline and met amazing people who brought back the energy into my life. I’m still in the process of nurturing my community and carving out a comfortable space for myself but so far I have reaped amazing benefits of having a community. I wish I had done it sooner – but it’s better late than never, right? There is a very profound impact that the people you surround yourself with have on you and you should be very careful in deciding who these people are going to be.
There are three types of people that I believe everyone needs in their life.
1. Surround yourself with people who are positive
You need to surround yourself with people who have a positive outlook towards life. These are people who always try to find the good in themselves and in others instead of finding faults. They try to understand before passing judgment on other people.
You need these people because they carry positive energy with them which rubs off on everyone they meet. They influence you to think better of yourself and boost your confidence. When you are around positive people, you feel more positive about life and about yourself. You will be more confident and willing to take on bigger challenges which will improve the quality of your life.
Being around negative people, on the other hand, will cause you to have self-doubt. People who criticize and demean you can cause you to question your value. They become a stumbling block on your path to success. Gossipers, backbiters and chronic complainers fall into this category. They will suck the energy out of you. They are hard to please and have no appreciation. You can hardly have a productive conversation with them. Spending time with them drains you emotionally. Walk away from such people. They are wasting your precious time which can be spent better being productive or even meeting new positive people.
2. Surround yourself with people who have similar goals
Surround yourself with people who share your vision. These are people with whom you have a constructive relationship that benefits both of you. You support each other because you have something in common, your goals. They are not afraid of your success because you build each other up. They are willing to grow with you.
You have to be very deliberate to find this type of community. You can join a physical group, a club, or even an online community that is aligned with your goals. Network and make friends with people who inspire you to achieve your goals. Be sure to be that person to someone else too.
In line with my goals, I have found such people in Wealthy Affiliate, an online community of people who are committed to creating successful businesses doing what they love. In W.A. have found people who are willing to grow with you, to teach you the ropes and provide all the resources you need to succeed without feeling intimidated by your success. Find such a community that aligns with your goals and surround yourself with people who are committed to helping you succeed.
3. Surround yourself with people who understand you.
This is the inner circle. They are the closest people in your life, your support system. You feel safe around them because they understand you and you are not afraid of being vulnerable with them. You need these people because they can give you honest feedback. They will correct you when you are wrong as well as celebrate you when you succeed. They care.
This is a friendship level that has to be developed over time to a level of trust. Normally, this is not a big group of people. They are a few selected individuals who you know for sure have your back any day all day. You will need them to pick you up when life knocks you down as it does to all of us from time to time. Having such a group of people that root for you, you can easily weather the storms of life and bounce back to shape quickly and better every time.
Find your community
Regardless of your gender, race or ethnicity, you do need these three types of friends. How you relate with them may differ from person to person but the need for community is universal. When life is knocking you down, you need a friend to pull you up to your feet.
You could be a mother needing reassurance that the challenge you are facing with your child is temporary, a new online marketer who needs insights on how the industry works, a single person who wants to meet other people enjoying their singlehood and maybe meet a potential spouse. Whichever your situation, surround yourself with these three types of people. Some people will fit into all the three categories while others will only serve their purpose in one category. It is okay whichever is the case for you. Find a community that works for you and watch your life be positively impacted.
Do you have these three types of people in your life? How did you find them? Leave a comment and let me know.
I really need people who have similar goals so we can exchange idea and just hang out. So many people just work aimlessly and I honestly don’t want to be around them. 2. Surround yourself with people who have similar goals. I really think of joining a good community for that.
Yes Furkan, it is important to find people who have similar goals. I am sure as you seek, you will find a good community for that. All the best.
Humans by nature are a social species. And as you have written your inner circle should enhance your life. Because with that comes positive energy. And the three types of people you write about here are the perfect type for anyone’s inner circle.
That is true Maurice, our inner circle should really enhance our lives. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate.
I am in complete agreement with the people you have clearly demonstrated ought to be in our inner circle.
Just to add, we also need people who challenge us to be better. Friends we look up to and say yes, I would be happy to be like this and this person. When we are in a circle in which we are ‘stars’ our growth gets retarded.
Thank you for the post. Really value adding!
That is absolutely right, if we are always the star in our crowd then our growth can be stunted. Thank you so much for the addition, we need friends who challenge us.